Not politically correct but hey.....?

15 sailors lost in Iranian waters. 14 of them men and 1 woman. Doesn't take a genius to work out who was reading the map !!!!

Three buddies die in a car crash, and they go to heaven.

There, they are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning, what would you like to hear them say about you?"The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."

The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say, 'Look! He's moving!'"

''I would like to buy my girlfriend a ring but I don't know what she'd like''

''Does she like you?''

''Of Course''

''Then she'd like anything''
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''That's a nice suit you are wearing. I wonder if the _style_ will ever come back''

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''I thought you said that you get drunk after one whisky''

''Yes, I do. Usually it's the fifteenth.''

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Dennis went to the Doctor because his hands kept shaking.
The Doctor checked him over and said ''Do you drink much?''
''No'' said Dennis ''I spill most of it.''

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''Your glass is empty O'Flaherty, will you be having another one ?''

''And why would I be wanting two empty glasses ?'' replied O'Flaherty.
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The Devil challenged St.Peter to a cricket match.
''Remember'' said St.Peter ''we have all the good cricketers up here.''
''Yes'' said The Devil ''but we have all the umpires down here.''
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The batsman was descibing his big hit.
''I gave it everything I had. The ball went into the sky and hit a passing duck.''

''Hit a duck? Was it wild?''

''It was ruddy-well livid.''
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Fred's wife phoned the cricket club.

''Sorry, he has just walked to the crease. He is about to bat. Shall I ask him to ring you back?''

''No. I'll hang on.'' she said
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